Evolution Will Happen With or Without You

A blunt look at the cost of clinging to outdated beliefs, religious fear, and prejudice while life keeps moving—with or without us.

SOCIETY & CULTURE

Bianca (Ocean) Maria Desmore

10/9/20264 min read

Evolution Will Happen With or Without You

There are people in this country who seem determined to keep the rest of us in 1929. They have a smartphone, air conditioning, and a doctor using modern equipment to keep them alive, but bring up changing how we live or treat one another, and suddenly civilization is falling apart. Apparently, advancement is acceptable as long as it comes with a remote control and leaves their opinions alone.

I think about stagnant water when I watch people fight every opportunity to move forward. Water can support life even when it is still, so calling it lifeless would be a stretch. But the image of something sitting, collecting, and going nowhere fits what I am talking about. Some people have been nursing the same resentment for decades. Introduce a different perspective, and they act like you poured something into their drinking supply. Meanwhile, they have been sipping from the same unexamined beliefs since childhood.

Years ago, I overheard an older man in Texas telling his neighbor that he would rather die than lower the price of his house and give “hood rats” a chance to move in. Imagine being so invested in deciding who deserves to live in a neighborhood that you would hold your own property hostage. He had already judged people he had never met, assigned them a place beneath him, and decided that keeping them out was worth whatever it cost him.

Fast-forward twenty-five years. He is dead, that damn property is still for sale, and with no living relatives, the place looks like hell. Every time I think about it, I come back to the same question: What good did it do him? He could have sold the house and used the money while he was alive. Someone could have lived there and cared for it. Instead, his determination to control who might move in outlasted his ability to enjoy any of it. That is one expensive opinion.

This is what boggles my mind about people who insist on remaining stuck. They will forfeit comfort, connection, opportunity, and years of their own lives to preserve an idea they refuse to examine. Sometimes they can barely explain where the belief came from. Their parents said it, their church repeated it, their neighbors agreed, and somewhere along the way, repetition became all the proof they needed.

Religion deserves scrutiny here, especially wherever questioning is treated as disobedience. Teach someone that reconsidering a belief could threaten their relationship with God, their place in the family, or their entire afterlife, and you have attached a hell of a price tag to curiosity. Then we wonder why a conversation about change becomes an argument. For that person, the conversation may feel like a threat to everything holding their world together.

I find it disturbing how thoroughly religious fear can get into someone’s thinking. A person can watch another human being suffer and remain more concerned about whether helping them would violate an interpretation they were taught. They can see an arrangement failing the people living under it and insist it continue because it is traditional. At some point, we have to examine what these teachings are asking us to preserve and who keeps paying for their preservation.

And yes, people can become just as stubborn about politics, family roles, neighborhoods, and their own importance. “That’s how we’ve always done it” gets dragged into conversations as though longevity settles the question. Plenty of us have spent years doing something we eventually had to reconsider. I would hope that after several decades on this planet, we have learned enough to revise a few things. Otherwise, what exactly have we been doing with all that experience?

Change gives us opportunities to learn. What we learn can help us grow, and that growth can lead to development that makes room for further advancement. We still have to pay attention to the results and adjust along the way. Nobody gets a guarantee that every new idea will work beautifully. We try, observe, take responsibility, and make corrections. Demanding certainty before allowing anything to change would leave us sitting in the same place indefinitely, complaining about the view.

There is also something deeply entitled about expecting everyone else to organize their future around your attachment to the past. You had experiences that shaped your preferences. Other people are having experiences that shape theirs. They deserve room to build lives that reflect what they have learned, including things your generation may never have considered. Being uncomfortable with their choices gives you something to explore about yourself. It gives you no ownership over their lives.

We can appreciate parts of our history while examining what we carried out of it. Some lessons remain useful. Others deserve retirement, preferably before they take an entire neighborhood down with them. Ask yourself what a belief actually contributes to your life today. Look at its effect on your relationships, your decisions, and the people around you. Be honest about what holding on is costing you. That man in Texas had a price he refused to lower, and he paid for it in ways he apparently never bothered to calculate.

Time will continue passing while you argue with it. People will keep learning, circumstances will shift, and another generation will arrive with questions you cannot answer by pointing backward. Evolution will happen WITH or WITHOUT you. I intend to stay curious enough to participate, because I would like to leave something more useful behind than an overpriced house and twenty-five years of weeds.

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