Find Yourself In The Noise Of Labels

I was contemplating whether I should change my branding when the conversation took a turn I apparently needed. Somewhere between “What do people think when they hear my name?” and “How do I want to be perceived?” I started wondering why I was giving everybody else so much homework. People already have opinions about me. Some have probably formed an entire committee. Was I really going to spend my morning trying to agree on a description with people who have met completely different versions of me?

I asked my sister how she sees me. She said I’m a survivor. My youngest daughter said I’m hardworking and creative. I appreciate both answers, although “survivor” had me thinking, “That’s it? All this personality, and that’s what made the brochure?” Then I thought about what each of them has witnessed. My sister knows what I’ve lived through. My daughter sees me working and creating. Their answers make sense from where they’re standing. But where am I standing? That question stayed with me. How much of what I believe about myself came from paying attention to who I am, and how much came from hearing somebody else say it often enough? A description can follow you for years. Eventually, you might start introducing yourself with it without remembering who handed it to you.

Branding has its uses. I understand wanting people to recognize your work and know what you offer. I’m a transformational speaker who writes blogs, creates quotes, and makes music. I educate through entertainment, usually while questioning something society would prefer I leave alone. That part is fairly easy to explain. Trying to manage every conclusion people draw about me sounds like an unpaid position with terrible hours. So my thoughts moved toward identity. Who am I at the core? Who are you when nobody is watching, expecting anything, or waiting to be impressed? There’s something worth discovering in the choices we make when an audience has absolutely nothing to do with them. And please, let’s give circumstances their proper place in this conversation. A person steals a loaf of bread to feed their children, and somebody stamps “thief” across their entire existence. There goes the rest of their story. The hunger, the desperation, the doors they tried before reaching that point—all conveniently left out of the discussion. You can describe what happened and still take the time to understand the human being involved.

I’m interested in the things we return to. The care we offer without being asked. The curiosity we follow without a reward. The promises we keep when breaking them would be easy to hide. How we treat someone who has absolutely nothing to offer us. Those ordinary, repeated decisions tell a story, and most of it will never make it onto social media. Even repetition deserves a closer look. Years of doing whatever it takes to get through the day can make a response feel like part of your personality. Always agreeing. Always preparing for trouble. Always being the one who handles everything. At some point, it’s worth asking whether you actually enjoy being the person everyone describes, or whether you’ve simply become very practiced at doing what your circumstances demanded. “Strong” is a lovely compliment until you realize everybody has stopped asking whether you need help. “Easygoing” sounds pleasant until you notice how often you swallow your own preferences to keep things comfortable. People may sincerely admire something that costs you a great deal. You’re allowed to examine that cost before accepting the label as your permanent identity.

Of course, discovering yourself involves being honest about your own behavior, too. I can call myself generous all day long, but if every favor comes with an invoice disguised as a reminder, I have something to look at. The description I prefer needs to hold up against how I actually live. Otherwise, I’ve just written excellent advertising. That’s where I want to put my attention. I want to notice what I choose freely, what I care about without encouragement, and what I keep creating when nobody has requested a damn thing. I want to understand which parts of my life feel like my own decisions. There’s plenty to explore there without conducting a public opinion poll.

People will continue to interpret us through their experiences, expectations, and whatever portion of our lives they happen to witness. Sometimes they’ll notice something useful. Sometimes they’ll be working with twelve seconds of information and the confidence of someone who conducted a ten-year investigation. We can listen, consider, and decide what fits. An opinion deserves examination before it gets a room in our heads.

So today, whilst thinking about changing my branding, I ended up wanting to know myself more clearly. Find yourself in the noise of labels. Pay attention to the person you are in those quiet, unannounced moments when your choices belong entirely to you. Let your actions give you something honest to recognize, and allow yourself to keep discovering. I’ll still be writing, making music, and questioning whatever catches my attention. Apparently, even a branding exercise can turn into an existential conversation before I’ve finished my coffee.

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